What a Difference a Day Makes

Wow yesterday's practice was light, flowing and fun. Today's practice on the other hand was cold, difficult and ended up with me hiding my tears while in paschimottanasana. There was no real reason for at all whatsoever but with each failed attempt at bakasana b (12 in total) I grew ever more frustrated at myself, my practice and any and everything else. I stood up for drop backs and was able to do one. I stood at the front of my mat for a moment contemplating a few more and started to get teary eyed. I turned around took a few deep breathes and then assumed the position for assisted. I couldn't look JB in the eyes because I didn't want my emotional state to become a "thing". So I just turned my head and did assisted back bends as best as I could. I sat down to do paschimottanasana and that's when I lost it.

At that point I grabbed a towel and walked out of the room and on my way to the locker room I ran into a shalamate who embraced me with open arms. She encouraged me to cry and to get it all out of my system and she was really nice about it and eventually even had me giggling at the absurdity of the situation.

I tend to think of myself as tough as nails and that's the impression that most people have of me. However, there is the rare occassion when I do have complete and utter meltdowns. The thing about today's meltdown is that it wasn't at all about the asana, yeah it sucks that I can't do a pose and I admit I sometimes get green with envy when I see shalamates flawlessly execute a pose that they were just given. But it's ladies holiday and I'm dealing with some work frustrations (the normal stuff that comes with starting a new job) and I just think that coupled with my practice frustrations led to my meltdown.

Interestingly enough I do think that there was something in the air today at the shala because quite a few of the practitioners called  it quits early because of one ailment or another. Perhaps we can blame it on the lack of moon days in December. 

Over the Moon

I'm over the moon that today is a moon day which is a rarity because I would practice everyday if I could. But for some reason I felt like I've been hit by the yoga truck multiple times this week. My body felt so sore some days I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to make it through practice. Add to that the three new poses that I got Tuesday and needless to say my muscles could use a break.

Speaking of new poses, I'm pretty sure that JB hates me and that's why he tacked on ustrasana, laghu, and kapo all at once. I'm pretty sure it's written somewhere is the annals of ashtanga yoga that that is a no no. JB usually gives out ustrasana and laghu and then a few weeks later he'll add on kapo. But anyway my first actual attempt at those poses on my own was quite laughable and I failed to lift myself up out of kapo correctly the first time which led to a complete fail. The second time was slightly better but my challenge is being able to get my left elbow to the floor. Oddly enough I've got some serious soreness going on in my left triceps close to the insertion point near my elbow. I never expected that at all from the pose as I was mostly anticipating pain and soreness in the lower back. Don't get me wrong there IS soreness in my back but nothing compared to what's going on with arms and legs. Did we discuss my legs yet? My poor quads felt like jell-o and I had to think twice about leaving my apartment since I live on the 5th floor of a walk-up.

I did however leave my apartment to treat myself to a massage yesterday and that coupled with the time spent with my has really helped the situation. I'm happy that tomorrow is led primary and I won't have to face second again until Sunday. Hopefully by then my muscles will have had a chance to recover and I plan to help things along by increasing my protein intake.

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