Back in the Swing of Things

It's been a while since my last post and during that time I've been struggling with a persistent and pesky injury. Oh and there was the thing about my teacher not really being around so much and all that good stuff.

My teacher JB has been around a bit more often and during consistent times which has made for a happy yogini. Unfortunately, I don't think everyone from my mysore class reached such a positive resolution and some have decided to part ways with my teacher.

In terms of asana I haven't really made much progress there over the last two months or so due to my rib injury. And just when I thought the coast was clear, I felt/heard a popping noise during urdhva dhanurasana two Sundays ago that pretty much sidelined me again for two weeks. However, I'm officially calling the latest injury an "opening" of sorts. Since Wednesday I've been feeling pretty much 100% again, my gauge being whether or not I practice dropping back assisted and unassisted. By Wednesday I was dropping back once again to my two blankets and bailed out of an attempt to stand upright. However, by Thursday I was feeling great and I dropped back and stood up from my blankets. Because I had to wait a while for JB to do assisted, I decided to give it another go on my own without blankets and was utterly surprised when my hands landed on the floor, instead of my head, without much of a to do. I even managed to stand up a little less spastically on my own. This injury has taught me that I really have to be mindful during my practice and to not force myself into specific asanas even though my ego may want to.

The other thing that's changed since the past two weeks is that I've made a reappearance at led primary practice on Fridays. Last week's practice was really good and it was just what my body needed. Today's practice was good as well but with a much smaller class of only 12 of us. Because the class was so small I did get a lot of attention from JB in all sorts of poses that he's never assisted me on before. He gave me a down dog squish to try to get my ankles to the floor and encouraged my to rotate my heels out slightly so that they were parallel, I got an uttanasana assist to encourage me to extend through my back and keep my palms firmly planted on the floor. There was also the parsvakonasana adjustment where my entire torso was firmly rotated towards the ceiling. I was called a slippery lady during my supta kurmasana assist as my arms were pretty sweaty and I don't think JB was expecting that. I was helped in getting my heel to the floor in supta padangusthasana which made it very difficult to maintain a connection with my big toe and then there was the urdhva mukha paschimottanasana squish. Then there was the karnapidasana oh so intimate ass to ass assist to get my knees to the floor and lastly, I guess I've been doing it wrong this whole time, instruction on the correct hand placement in urdhva padmasana while encouraging me to lift even higher, higher and higher. And last but not least, to seal the deal JB stepped on my left knee/thigh in matsyasana so that it would touch the mat.

Needless to say practice was amazing today but unfortunately, it will probably be a few months before I ever get that much attention from JB again. 

Another Practice Report Recap

In terms of my practice August has been an interesting month. My favorite assistant left at the beginning of the month and my practice really hasn't been the same since. I've had a few teary breakdowns during savasana and after practice but I think that is mostly behind me now. I had a really nice chat with one of my shalamates after practice and as always she had some wise words to share with me.

My practice has entered a new phase where I'm no longer an ashtanga beginner but I'm definitely far from an advanced practitioner and the level of attention that I once received when I first started isn't there anymore.  I rarely get any assistance during UHP anymore and while I can pretty much approximate the pose on my own these days most days I long for assistance at that point. I guess the point of mysore style yoga is to be able to develop a self practice and I'm on my way to achieving that.

In other practice related news I've been flirting with binding pashasana on one side. It's not a regular daily occurring but it's been happening more frequently. One of the first days that it happened JB was standing on my mat behind me and about to give me some help when he saw that I bound on my own and he didn't step in to help me go deeper into the pose. One thing that has helped my pashasana but has had virtually no effect on my supta kurmasana is getting deep wrist binds in all of the marichyasanas on both side. After all of my struggles trying to bing marichyasana d I never would have thought that I would manage anything more than a finger bind in that pose. Bhekasana continues to be my FML pose as grabbing my feet and holding on for five breathes while lifting up through the chest just doesn't resonate with my body. Today I tried the pose with a towel over each foot and I was slightly more successful in maintaining contact with me feet. And then that brings me to parsva dhanurasana which is slowly getting better but is not graceful at all, it's kind of the garba pindasana of second series. I don't miss the days of feeling like a beached whale after failing victim to that pose. As if parsvo dhanurasana wasn't bad enough on it's own, one is required to come back up into dhanurasana and hold that variation for five breaths as a kind shalamate pointed out to me last Thursday. All I can say is that my legs feel like jell-o by that point

And finally there are the drop backs which have disappeared from my practice as mysteriously as they have arrived. Actually, there is no mystery to explain their disappearance they disappeared because I hold the record for the highest number of times a yogi/ini can fall on his/her head while practicing. And that's not a record that I'm proud of and my ego isn't cool with it either. So as of yesterday I started using a pile of blankets again. I started with six and worked my way down to four. Today I started with four and drop back successfully several times to that height. My new plan is to remove one blanket a week as long as I can successfully drop back to the blanket height. So if all goes according to plan I'll be dropping back on my own sans blankets in four weeks. And if it takes longer I'll be OK with that too. 

Today I Fell...

...on my head! Not once but twice. Yes, the big thud heard in the shala and the subsequent cursing was me. Technically I didn't fall per se, I managed to drop myself back on my head. Not once but twice. Because of the holiday the shala was practically empty so there weren't many witnesses.

For some reason I felt must stiffer in my back today and the drop backs that arrived by surprise last week disappeared as quickly as they arrived. The fall onto the top of my head wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be when I first started practicing drop backs. But then again I always thought it was one of those irrational fears that would never possibly come to pass but I guess I was a little naive. Since the fall wasn't as bad as I had feared I got back up and tried a few more times once with marginal success and once with a second big thud. In a way I'm kind of happy that it happened because the reality isn't as bad as I thought it would be and I can learn from my mistakes. However, today obviously wasn't the day for that learning to come into play and thankfully there's always tomorrow and the prospect of practicing with blankets.

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I Drop Back Down and I Can't Get Up Again

Since Sunday's escapade in drop backs I've managed to drop back a couple of times each day since. The odd thing about it though is that they aren't getting any easier. Sunday's drop back exercise seemed easier in retrospect because I had just come off using the wall and I had no expectations and as I mentioned in my previous post no one was watching. On Monday, throw in an eagle eyed assistant and I nearly choked due to performance anxiety but I did managed to pull one off successfully. After I stood back up from my drop back she gave me some suggestions on better arm placement which was very nice and greatly appreciated however, all I wanted to do was relish in my achievement. And then we did assisted drop backs to help me find the right muscles and motion for me to be able to lift myself back up.

By Tuesday, I had told one of the other assistants about my drop back progress (he was actually the one that encouraged me to move further away from the wall thus enabling me to be able to drop back on my own). He was practicing two people away from me and I must have tried 100 times with no success. I looked over at him and whispered "they're gone". His advice was to bend my knees more and to just drop back. And so I did and wouldn't you know it my hands landed on the floor. Success! As I was packing up and getting ready to leave he mentioned something about a next step and being able to lift myself back up.

Of course there's a next step, with mysore style ashtanga there's always a next step. It's a practice that doesn't allow you to rest on your laurels and it's a never ending cycle of struggle, practice, achievement (or something along those lines). I guess it's the method's way of keeping those egos in check and keeping us humble.