I feel like I'm at a critical point in my ashtanga practice as my one year anniversary approaches. I'm dealing with my second injury within a six month period, my favorite assistant/teacher has left, my teacher teacher hasn't been around consistently since June and there is a possibility that he will move out of state come next fall.
Given all of that I'm left questioning a lot of things about the practice as a whole. Do I want to continue my commitment to said teacher even though his commitments may lie elsewhere in the not so distant future? Do I want to continue my commitment to the practice even though it's left me injured and my muscles in a state of constant soreness? My new hypothesis regarding my intercostal injury is that they are a result of the extreme tension and tightness throughout my back and when I do back bending my front intercostals overcompensate somehow thus leading to strain and injury. It's just a theory but I don't even know what kind of doctor/body worker I should schedule an appointment with to shed some light on the situation. The doctor I saw last time only diagnosed me and told me to rest. Had he explained how the injury occurred in the first place I might not be in the situation for a second time but I digress.
When practice is good, it leaves me feeling really good for the better part of the day and I look forward to getting back on my mat the next morning. Nothing else can really compare to that feeling. But truth be told I haven't felt like that since early August. And while I'm very fortunate to be able to practice with one of the best teachers in the city I should value any amount of the time that I DO get to practice with him because I know there are folks out there that leave in remote regions of the country that don't have the type of access that I do.
I don't think I'm going to pack it up and call it quits any time soon but with all of this extra time on my hands it's no wonder that I've started to contemplate these things. And if there's one thing that I've learned from my yoga studies is the concept of impermanence and how everything is constantly changing. The less accepting one is of this universal axiom the more suffering one is bound to endure in this lifetime. As a concept it totally resonates with me but being able to fully accept that as reality is what is so challenging.
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Given all of that I'm left questioning a lot of things about the practice as a whole. Do I want to continue my commitment to said teacher even though his commitments may lie elsewhere in the not so distant future? Do I want to continue my commitment to the practice even though it's left me injured and my muscles in a state of constant soreness? My new hypothesis regarding my intercostal injury is that they are a result of the extreme tension and tightness throughout my back and when I do back bending my front intercostals overcompensate somehow thus leading to strain and injury. It's just a theory but I don't even know what kind of doctor/body worker I should schedule an appointment with to shed some light on the situation. The doctor I saw last time only diagnosed me and told me to rest. Had he explained how the injury occurred in the first place I might not be in the situation for a second time but I digress.
When practice is good, it leaves me feeling really good for the better part of the day and I look forward to getting back on my mat the next morning. Nothing else can really compare to that feeling. But truth be told I haven't felt like that since early August. And while I'm very fortunate to be able to practice with one of the best teachers in the city I should value any amount of the time that I DO get to practice with him because I know there are folks out there that leave in remote regions of the country that don't have the type of access that I do.
I don't think I'm going to pack it up and call it quits any time soon but with all of this extra time on my hands it's no wonder that I've started to contemplate these things. And if there's one thing that I've learned from my yoga studies is the concept of impermanence and how everything is constantly changing. The less accepting one is of this universal axiom the more suffering one is bound to endure in this lifetime. As a concept it totally resonates with me but being able to fully accept that as reality is what is so challenging.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
These are very valid questions, I sympathize quite a bit, within my first year at the studio where I was going teachers changed 6 times!
ReplyDeleteAs per the injury, I am sorry to hear that, it can be so frustrating!!!
Whenever I have these thoguths (which i am guessing many of us do) I reember what Richard Freeman once said, he said that it is usually when we are at the brink of going deeper that we want to drop it. That the moment when we want to run away is actually the moment when the miracle is happening... for what is worth... just sharing.
I will add your blog to my roll, just discovered it! and thank you for having me in yours
Will be reading to see how it continues... :-)