Guest Appearances

Drop backs made a guest appearance during my practice today and I'm not exactly sure where they came from. I think yesterday's emotional breakdown was helpful in that it allowed me to release some of the residual fear and anxiety I was holding on to from the fall. I also think today was different because I was focused internally and wasn't suffering from performance anxiety due to the other yogis in the room.

I practiced 3 urdhva dhanurasana as usual and rocked a bit on the second and third attempt. At this point the rocking is mostly for show as I haven't yet committed mentally to being able to lift myself up, i's funny how the mind the mind works. After that I moved to the wall. I practiced one hang back and then two drop backs. The drop backs weren't stellar but my back did feel fairly open today which gave me the confidence boost to try again in the middle of my mat. Yesterday's anger and frustration were a distant memory. I struggled a bit with the pose as my body kept wanting to spring itself upward whenever I reached that pivotal point of no turning back. During my successful attempt I really tried to focus on all of the feedback that I've been given during the previous couple of weeks; hips forward, strong engaged legs, engaged bandhas, gaze focused on my mat almost looking towards my ankles. With a strong foundation in place I bent my knees for dear life, reached my arms back and softly placed my hands on the floor behind me. Once down I rocked a bit (a little bit more than a cursory effort at this point) then laid down on my mat. I stood up to attempt it again but a second drop back just wasn't in the cards for me today. I don't think JB witnessed today's accomplishment but one of my shalamates/assistants was there watching me and encouraging me throughout the most of the effort (in between his drop back/tic toc practice). At one point he even came over to give me a little pep talk which was nice. I got a huge smile and approving nod from him after my successful attempt.

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