Same Sequence, Different Day

Even the sequence of poses is the same each morning every day feels different when I step on my mat. Some days I struggle in the very difficult poses and some days I don't. Some days I find even the most basic of poses difficult.

This morning I couldn't bind on either side of marichyasana D and no one was around to assist me so I just went on to the next pose. I can normally bind at least one side but it just wasn't in the cards today. However, I was able to lower to my chin in bhujapidasana and lift myself back up fairly gracefully without toppling over onto my bum. Oh and my feet never touched my mat either. When it came to big bad baddha k I got the foot on right thigh adjustment and it didn't kill me and it didn't feel all that unpleasant.  So when JB asked me to perform it again I didn't protest I just feigned deafness when he first mentioned it. The key for me in this pose is to really flatten out the tops of my feet on the top of my mat and press the heels together. When I do it this way the stretch is more on my inner legs/thighs and less in my lower back/sacrum. I'll be whipping my legs behind my head in no time...not.

The biggest surprise today came during my attempt at urdhva mukha paschimottanasana. After my first ever attempt at this pose I wrote it off as physically impossible. I don't think I've noticed anyone else in the shala pull it off (not that I've been paying close attention) and I figured it they can't do it and they've been practicing forever then neither can I. Each day I would make two good faith attempts at the correct entry and then give up. For some reason, today I said to myself that I'm really going to go for it and try to achieve the proper entry into the pose and somehow I managed to pull it off. One of the assistants was helping someone seated next to me and saw what I did and made a congratulatory comment about it. I found it kind of cute because she seemed more excited by my progress than I was. I guess I was so shocked by what happened I didn't occur to me to be pleased. The key was to really flex my feet and to push up off of the floor behind me and before I knew it I was upright and balancing on my bum. 

I have no idea what tomorrow's practice will bring but I'm sure it will be filled with surprises both good and bad. But regardless of the surprises I'm really looking forward to it especially since it will be my last practice for the week.

Inception

How is it that I find myself enrolled in a 300 hour advanced teacher training with nary a 200 hour training course under my belt?

It all started several weeks ago when I signed up for a Sanskrit class that my teacher was having. It turned out that the Sanskrit class had to be rescheduled so he emailed me to let me know that he would be rescheduling it.We exchanged a few emails and at the end of one of the last emails he said that he would like me to consider his teacher training program because he thought that I would be an excellent candidate. I don't know about you but when I read that email my ego was stroked, caressed and massaged all at the same time. But that feeling only lasted briefly, I then started to think, of course he would suggest that I attend his teacher training program, it's to his benefit to have more students, you're not so special. My final thought regarding the email was something like "my yoga teacher thinks that I suck and am in need of an intensive training course to improve". But again that thought only lasted briefly as well.

When I was in my twenties and when I first started getting serious about my yoga practice I briefly flirted with the idea of doing a teacher training program, well before it became the cool thing to do. As I've gotten older I kind of put that idea to rest and figured that I'd leave such programs to the young. But when my current teacher suggested that I do the training the seed was planted again.

Because the program is with my teacher whom I really enjoy practicing with and because he has so much knowledge and wisdom that he's willing to share and because I feel like he hand picked me I felt like I couldn't pass up the opportunity. And that my friends is how I now find myself enrolled in a 300 hour, 10 week advanced teacher training program. 

Unexpected Visitors

I haven't practiced since Wednesday due to the unexpected early arrival of the ladies holiday. I actually woke up at my usual time on Thursday, debated whether or not to go to the shala, put on my clothes and then promptly crawled back into bed. When I do miss practice, the first day usually isn't so bad and it kind of feels a little bit like playing hooky from school. However, I find that there is a direct correlation between doing my daily practice and my ability to cope in a corporate environment. I didn't make it to the shala again this morning and by the second day of missing practice I'm all antsy and spastic and counting down the minutes until I can get back on the mat. Even though tomorrow is a Saturday and happens to be a moon day as well I think I'm going to try out a non-Ashtanga class at my studio. We'll see how that goes.

Goodbye to the Pee Wee League

This morning's practice was in stark contrast to yesterday's. Yesterday I couldn't stop yawning from the first surya onwards, I wanted to put in the minimum amount of effort to execute each asana and I had no desire to be adjusted at all. The irony of yesterday's practice is that I received adjustments all along the way even in poses that I'm rarely adjusted in, such as virabhadrasana I. It was also suggested that I could consider jumping back in lotus position and any other day I would have given it a try but yesterday I just filed in away in my "to try later drawer".

Today on the other hand I was feeling quite well on the mat and there was less tightness in my legs thank yesterday which I was grateful for. Practice proceeded as usual until I got up to baddha konasana. I actually completed my variation of the pose when I heard my teacher caller my name. He was two or three people away assisting a newbie and using his non verbal communication skills he made it known that he wanted me to wait for him so we could do the pose again. Naturally, I used my best non verbal communication skills and grimaced back at him. It was at that point that he decided verbal communication would be best and he promised not to torture me. I wasn't completely convinced but I went along with it anyway. He came over sat beside me and showed me how my feet should actually be placed in the pose. In his rendition, his the tops of his feet are nearly flesh with the floor with his heels touching. In my rendition my heels were basically just touching. When I got into the pose and was adjusted using his foot positioning things felt a lot less torturous. I actually felt the stretch mostly in my inner thigh region as opposed to my lower back/hip/sacrum region. Dare I say that I'm excited to try it again tomorrow?

In other news, before today back bending used to be a highlight of my practice. I would do three urdhva dhanurasanas a couple of assisted back bends and that was it. Easy breezy. I of course recognize that I was in the pee wee league of back bending where I thought I would be spending the next couple of months at least. So imagine my surprise when I was told that I would soon be entering the minor leagues with nary a discussion or forewarning. He had me practice dropping back on my own with him spotting me. Even being spotted it ain't easy. We tried it three times and by the third time I was practically hyperventilating and gasping for air. He told me to inhale and lift up but I blurted out "I can't breathe" instead. I eventually somehow found myself standing upright and paused for a few moments to catch my breath.  Maybe after today's episode he'll decide to keep me in the pee wee league a little longer.

An Open Letter to My Hamstrings

Dear Hamstrings,

We've come a long way. Gone are the days of waking up and the act of just getting out of bed seemed liked the biggest chore. Gone are the days when it felt like bricks of lead were permanently attached to my thighs. I'm impressed, the progress is measurable. Hello straight legged paschimotadasana.

But as far as we've come (we've come a long way baby) and as appreciative as I am, I sill want more out of you. I yearn achieve the full expression of poses such as kurmasana, and padangushthasana. Instead of the embarrassingly pathetic excuse for those poses that I've been doing. I turn green with envy each time I see one of my shalamates easily glide into those poses with their cooperative hamstrings.

I've been putting in the work and I'd appreciate it if you would be willing to meet me half way. I've been working my quads really hard in back bending to give you a bit of a break and to balance things out. I go in the steam room after practice when I have time and I even splurge on massages when time and money allow. I'm not sure what else I can do but I am open to suggestions.

Yours truly,

UA

Kicking As-ana

I practiced this morning and all I can say is that I kicked some as-ana. Actually, practice was ok but compared to my most recent pathetic attempts at practice today's practice was pretty good. I was able to practice my jump backs and jump throughs which was nice.

After I got home from practice today I started thinking about my practice in general for the past month and a half and I kind of feel like I hit a plateau. I'm tempted to say that I'm a little frustrated by it but that's not 100% accurate either because I still enjoy the daily practice and I know that I shouldn't be attached to results. However, when my less rational and results driven side starts taking up residence in my mind space I start asking myself questions like:

"when will I be able to consistently bind on the left side of marichyasana d?" "when will I be able to straighten my legs in kurmasana?"
"when will I be able to bind my hands for more than a millisecond in supta kurmasana?"
"when will I be able to balance on my own in kukkutasana?"
"when will I be able to reach my knees to the floor without my teachers full body weight on my thighs in baddha konasana?"

And the list goes on. I know that Guruji says "practice and everything is coming" but I've got a consistent 5-6 day a week practice and I'd like to see more of what's coming from all of the practice I've been putting into it. And I realize that in the grand scheme of things 5-6 months of practice really isn't that long and when I have thoughts like the ones stated above it's all the more proof that I need to continue with my asana practice to quiet my mind and to move me further along the path to enlightenment.  

Saturday Vinyasa Practice

Normally, when I do a six day a week practice I take Saturdays off entirely from any yoga practice and enjoy it thoroughly. This week I had to skip practice twice first on Wednesday because I was experiencing extreme soreness in my sacrum and hip areas and then on Friday because of business travel. And I'm not even going to discuss Thursday's pathetic practice due to lingering soreness in this forum.

So given my abbreviated practice schedule I decided to take a vinyasa class this afternoon. The class was with one of my all-time favorite instructors M who is known for his very intense and challenging classes. Despite normally practicing Ashtanga 5-6 days per week, I find that M's class still has the ability to kick my butt. Despite the humbling experience of having to take multiple rests in child's pose I still enjoyed the class and I think it's a good complement to my ashtanga practice because we generally do different poses and work different muscle groups in that class. I then find that my Sunday morning Ashtanga class is that much more fluid and enjoyable.

When I do take vinyasa classes I sometimes feel like I'm cheating on my ashtanga teacher but it's a comfort to know that I'm not the only one when I see other ashtangis in the class as well. And the thing is that my ashtanga teacher is so far along the path to self actualization that I'm sure he doesn't mind.